Religious Conflict Resolution
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 Published On Sep 23, 2022

Religious Conflict Resolution (Michael Langone, PhD.)

Research suggests that, in the West, hundreds of thousands of individuals join and leave
cultic groups each year. Research studies also suggest that at least a sizable minority of
those who join cultic groups are adversely affected. The families of these group members,
and probably many other families, tend to become concerned about their loved one‘s group
involvement.
Roughly 80 percent of the groups that cause concern are religious. The psychological,
political, and occasionally commercial groups that aren‘t overtly religious often influence
members‘ lives as though they were religions because they typically bring about a major
shift in members‘ views of self, world, and other—i.e., a conversion experience.
During the past 25 years, most professionals who work with these families have emphasized
helping them persuade their loved ones to leave cultic groups. Exit counseling, a process
aimed at helping families create conditions under which their loved one will reevaluate a
group involvement, has been very valuable to thousands of grateful families and group
members. (Exit counseling is also often referred to as ―thought reform consultation.‖)

Nevertheless, only a very small percentage of families are able to proceed to an exit-
counseling intervention. In many cases, an intervention is not possible or even appropriate

because the loved one‘s relationship to a group does not fit the typical pattern of
exploitative manipulation associated with the subjects of exit-counseling interventions, even
though the family may have valid concerns. In other cases, the loved one may be so
attached to the group (e.g., because of family ties within the group, decades of
commitment, fear of adjusting to the mainstream world) that his or her departure is
unlikely, even with an intervention.
Very little attention has been paid to this large majority of families for whom an exit
counseling is not feasible or appropriate. Livia Bardin‘s book, Coping with Cult Involvement:
A Handbook for Families and Friends, offers some guidance. Ms. Bardin says that a cult
involvement is often ―a situation to manage, not a problem to solve.‖
This talk will explore ways in which families can more effectively ―manage‖ a loved one‘s
involvement in a group that causes concern, at least in part because of the nature of the
conversion that it tends to bring about. The talk will approach the situation as a family
conflict over what at least overtly are religious issues. Through lecture and discussion, the
speakers, a counseling psychologist, an educational/organizational consultant, and an exit
counselor (thought-reform consultant), will examine
- How families and group members can come to better understand and appreciate
each other‘s perspectives on the conflict that divides them.
- How they can improve communication so as to reduce the level of conflict.
- How they can negotiate mutual behavioral changes that will reduce the level of
conflict.
- How they can come to terms with the need to compromise so as to protect the love
between them while respecting differences that divide them.

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