The aim of arguments should never be to overcome the other person. When you make your wife upset or cry etc, you've not won. Similarly when the wife upsets her husband and argues til he can't say anything else, you've not won. It's a lose/lose situation. The intention should always be to find a solution. As a married couple you're a UNIT, you're ONE. If one is cussed down then you go down with them. May Allah grant us better understanding and allow us to not act from anger or our nafs.