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In the last video we learned that avoidance doesn’t work, trying to force our feelings to change doesn’t work. But neither does giving in to them, just letting anxiety run the show or make your decisions. So what the heck do we do with Anxiety? The fundamental antidote to problematic anxiety is willingness, learning how to feel anxiety, make space for it, listen to it, but not be bothered or controlled by it. Willingness is learning how to drop the struggle with your feelings, so that you can free your hands, your life, to do what you really care about.

Willingness is the most powerful tool for managing anxiety, because when you have willingness, anxiety can’t control you any more. So in this video you’ll learn what willingness is, how to develop it, and you’ll get to practice it to see what it feels like.
What is willingness?
OK, I’m going to tell you a few things about willingness, then we’re going to jump in and try.
Present Moment- We’re going to direct our attention to the here and now
Exploring- Letting go of judgment about emotions and describing them instead- Beginner’s mind, fresh experience. (tongue example)
Allowing- Dropping the struggle with emotions, it’s accepting that they exist. It’s not liking, wanting or enjoying feeling something- it’s just acknowledging the reality- that I am feeling this, and allowing that feeling to be there.
Curiosity- Being curious about them instead of resisting them
Expand- Replacing aversion with openness- leaning in, making space. Being flexible and open instead of rigid and trying to control something you can’t control.

Why would I do that? Because resisting feeling is what’s messing up your life. Trying to not feel anxious forces you into avoiding the things you care about, hardening your heart, cutting off possibilities.


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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
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