Emily Dickinson was an American poet who lived from 1830 to 1886. She is regarded as one of the greatest poets in the English language.

I Cannot Live With You is one of Emily Dickinson's most famous poems. However, it's also one of her most cryptic. Could it be that she felt the need to use such cryptic language because she was writing about someone whom she knew it was culturally taboo to have feelings for? According to allpoetry.com: 'The speaker's desire for union is tempered by the realization that death and societal expectations would hinder their pursuit of love'.

The first line 'I cannot live with You —' immediately piques the reader's interest, in that a love poem would almost always portray a sentiment of the speaker not being able to live 'without' the other person.

Two main themes of the poem are longing and separation. The speaker describes their love for this other person in a succession of distinct parts: 1. The reason she cannot live with him/her 2. The reason she cannot die with him/her 3. The reason she cannot rise with him/her - and finally 4. The reason she cannot fall with him/her.

The speaker states that she cannot live with him/her because:

I cannot live with You —
It would be Life —
And Life is over there —
Behind the Shelf

The Sexton keeps the Key to —
Putting up
Our Life — His Porcelain —
Like a Cup —

According to poemotopia.com, 'Life' here alludes to 'just existing but not actually living'. The speaker does not want to live a dull life of monotony, once the initial excitement of being with a lover subsides.

A 'sexton' (referred to in Stanza two) was the title of the person who's role was to do the practical church jobs such as digging the graves, ringing the bells and generally taking care of the church and the graveyard. The mention of a sexton therefore adds to the general sense of apprehension and fear of a relationship with this other person.

In Stanza four, the speaker goes on to explain how she could not die with this other person, because one would have to 'shut the Other's Gaze down' - or close their eyes upon death.

The poem goes on to say in Stanza six that - even if they were able to die with the object of their affection - the speaker would not be able to rise (to heaven) with them. So they would still be parted after death. This is where the poem takes quite a dark turn, because the speaker seems to believe that after death, there's a good chance the man/woman of their affection will be going to heaven - whereas she herself might be condemned to be 'Where You were not —' - could this be Hell?

I cannot live with You —
It would be Life —
And Life is over there —
Behind the Shelf

The Sexton keeps the Key to —
Putting up
Our Life — His Porcelain —
Like a Cup —

Discarded of the Housewife —
Quaint — or Broke —
A newer Sevres pleases —
Old Ones crack —

I could not die — with You —
For One must wait
To shut the Other's Gaze down —
You — could not —

And I — Could I stand by
And see You — freeze —
Without my Right of Frost —
Death's privilege?

Nor could I rise — with You —
Because Your Face
Would put out Jesus' —
That New Grace

Glow plain — and foreign
On my homesick Eye —
Except that You than He
Shone closer by —

They'd judge Us — How —
For You — served Heaven — You know,
Or sought to —
I could not —

Because You saturated Sight —
And I had no more Eyes
For sordid excellence
As Paradise

And were You lost, I would be —
Though My Name
Rang loudest
On the Heavenly fame —

And were You — saved —
And I — condemned to be
Where You were not —
That self — were Hell to Me —

So We must meet apart —
You there — I — here —
With just the Door ajar
That Oceans are — and Prayer —
And that White Sustenance —
Despair —


Emily Dickinson playlist:
   • Emily Dickinson Poems