Do you hate that you have to repeat yourself or raise your voice to get your child's attention? Then stop yelling or repeating yourself and try the One Chance Only System, a conscious parenting tip to make your kid listen without raising your voice or repeating yourself. FREE PRINTABLE RESOURCES BELOW...

LYNN JT is a private physiotherapist, hypnobirthing & maternal mental health coach.

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In this video:    • How To Make Your Kid Listen (WITHOUT ...  
About a year ago, my parents were watching me attempt to catch my daughter’s attention. Bibi wanted to go to the park, and I needed her to put on her shoes. I’d TOLD her to put on her shoes at least half a dozen times, but there she was, racing around in stockinged feet, while my frustration simmered.

“Come, darling, put on your shoes,” I said lovingly, except that it may have sounded more like, “PUT ON YOUR EVER-LOVING SHOES ALREADY!” and it may have been… shouted.

“You’re doing it wrong,” they said.

My mum’s a psychotherapist and my dad’s become a friend beyond just a dad over the years, so my ears pricked up. “This better be good...”

They went on to explain that by giving Bibi so many chances to listen, to process and action the information, the repetition was just becoming background noise, annoying to me and ignored by her…

I was only making my life more difficult, and thus, the One Chance System was born.

From that moment on (fine, perhaps with a few slip-ups now and then), I would give an instruction once.

I get down to her level so she already knows I’ve got something to tell her. I lock eye contact and even gently hold her chin if something else is distracting her. I tell her, “I’m only going to say this one time, so focus.”

I made sure that she was ready to listen, and then I would tell her just once what she needed to do — put on her shoes so that we could go to the park, play her turn in the game, tidy her toys before storytime, or whatever it was.

If Bibi didn’t do what she was asked to do, the park trip couldn’t happen. The game ended. The reward was lost.

One chance. One time. No repeating myself endlessly. No making myself crazy. And, on top of that, I began teaching my daughter about the importance of listening and following through. Plus it’s in line with one of my own favourite mantras: “ONE life baby, ONE chance, seize it”.

The trick here is to work with what you have. A small child can’t focus intently for more than about a minute — so you need to keep your instructions simple and precise.

If you try to give your four year old a complete list for organising his room, you will be disappointed. If your instruction is, “Put all the legos in this box,” you have a much higher chance of success.

Stop setting yourself up for frustration by expecting your child to stay in the zone for an extended period of time. Work on slowly building that focus muscle — aim for 30-60 SECONDS at first, and consider anything beyond that a bonus.

This gentle parenting tip explained exactly what to do when your kids won't listen.
This is how I discipline my toddler and get her to obey instructions so I don’t have to repeat myself a million times, get frustrated and lose my gentle parenting calm. How do you do it? Let me know!

   • How To Make Your Kid Listen (WITHOUT ...