Today’s video addresses how one can cultivate an attitude of respect towards how you survived narcissistic abuse and how you are working to recover from it.

A common sentiment I’ve noticed in survivors of narcissistic abuse – particularly in the role of scapegoat – is some frustration, impatience, and disappointment in oneself for not doing something different when they were being abused or in the process of recovering from it.

This perspective may have its roots in our need to know we could have done something differently to avoid a traumatic situation. Believing this can be important because it can mean that we are in control of whether such traumatic situations happen again to us. In most traumas, however, the cause is simply misfortune - not inadequate responses by the survivor. There is always the possibility of such misfortune as a fact of living. However, the probability is that most people are not pathologically narcissistic and we will not be chronically traumatized in a relationship. In short, the only thing there was to do in the face of narcissistic abuse was survive it. Similarly, however one is working to recover from this abuse is also exactly what is needed to be done at this particular point in time.

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