On this episode, @RickHanson and I are joined by author and therapist Terry Real to talk about how to successfully metabolize our trauma and experience real intimacy in our relationships. We discuss how to balance acceptance and agency, develop a healthy sense of trust and self-esteem, communicate what we want effectively, and experience our power through collaboration rather than dominance.

About our Guest: Terry is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and bestselling author. His latest book is Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.

Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:45 Terry’s personal transformation
5:15 Regulating up to our parents
8:05 The Adaptive Child vs. the Wise Adult
15:50 Us vs. the delusions of individualism and patriarchy
19:50 Balancing acceptance and agency
24:50 Enlightened self-interest and working with couples
31:00 Three phases to get more of what you want in relationships without a counselor
35:20 How to support people–particularly women–in dealing with unfairness
39:20 Gendered tendencies–moving into intimacy and out of patriarchy
45:50 Shame and healthy self-esteem
53:15 Relational reckoning and relational integrity
1:00:30 Repairing trust and grandiosity
1:06:05 Recap

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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.

You can follow me here:
🎤 https://apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 https://www.forresthanson.com
📸   / f.hanson