Every franchise has an underdog weapon, a gun or tool the skilled player can fall back on in a pinch to save your when you’re seconds away from disaster. From the box art we can see the bow and arrow is where all the praise and the glory and the accolades went. But what about something for the simple adventurer with bad eyesight? Can You Beat Tomb Raider With Only A Climbing Axe?

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Can You Beat Tomb Raider With Only A Climbing Axe? (in text form)

The story of Lara Croft kicks off in a dramatic fashion as our nameless protagoness plunges into the drink. She was aboard the USS Endurance when a violent storm rocked the ship, marooning herself, Gilligan, the guy who invented Roth IRAs, and a couple other on an island.

Lara really got herself in a pickle this time. Not only is she f*cked, she’s super f*cked. Tied up and left for dead, the skelington I burned loose knocked out the floor out from under me, I burnt my legs, fell onto a piece of rebar, ripped it out, and gained complete control of the character. In the context of this video, when I say “With Only A Climbing Axe” in the title I’m talking about combat exclusively. This is a platform-er action adventure puzzle game, combat should really be an afterthought, but it’s not. I have this bad habit of being extraordinarily melodramatic over the smallest roadblock. That being said, this challenge is up there with Doom With Only A Pistol and Fallout 3 With My Eyes as one of the most brutally difficult challenges I’ve attempted. I picked Tomb Raider because HowLongToBeat pegged it as a relatively quick 11 hour romp through the jungle. Not only did it take me more than double that, you don’t get the f*cking climbing axe until you’re like 6 hours into the game. Is it A) a problem, B) an issue, or C) time for me to buy a thesaurus? I don’t have all the answers. What I do have is a torch: fire in the form of a flaming stick. The torch is one of the many tools available to us in this adventure. It can be used to light objects on fire. Anything from ropes to boxes to red barrels can be lit on fire but it is not a combat tool. Here it’s used to solve a puzzle.

I heard the voodoo man say he was trying to help me as the ceiling descended towards my face. I let the rock take me, didn’t fight back the next time and got crushed all the same. There are a lot of gruesome deaths in Tomb Raider. I’d hoped to see her get squished between the walls, instead she inched and crawled through the mud and emerged out into the real game. On the way to the beach I ran through the basics of Tomb Raider’s platforming. All the classics are here: wood walking, jumping the gap, climbing up makeshift ladders throughout the en-vi-ron-ment, the wall assisted double jump, and of course, stealing. Moments after I stole the 2-way radio, I wonder who’s handy that will come into later, a storm rolled in, forcing me to postpone my search. I sought shelter in the woods, made my first campsite, and watched an old video to remind the player that other characters exist and there’s context for what’s happening. We’re searching for the Dragon’s Triangle. Bermuda is the dragon’s name, that’s the simple explanation for what’s going on here.