Focus on YOU, not THEM.
What?? Isn't that selfish?
I used to think so. I used to believe that if I did too much for myself then I would be neglecting my kids.
Everything I read was about being a better mom. All my energy was focusing on what I could do to parent better, discipline better, or serve them better.
When my oldest was a baby, I spent sleepless nights cradling her and restless days coddling her. I was so afraid of being a "bad" mom. I took my responsibility to parent very seriously, and I wanted to do my very best.
Then I found out we were expecting our second baby, and I was still up in the night with our first. There was no way I was going to manage doing that with two kids. There had to be a better way.
I was trying to draw from an empty well. Giving everything to the role of mom meant I was not doing anything to nourish Jodi.
Don't get me wrong. I love being a mom, and I love taking care of my kids. But who was I becoming, and who would I be when my kids were growing up and becoming their own people? How was I modeling a healthy relationship with myself?
More than this, was I avoiding facing my personal demons and hiding behind the mom role?
There is a better way. I've had more clarity about my role, and I'm able to model healthy boundaries and a positive self-image since learning to embrace the You not Them concept.